Beyond the Paycheck

Right now, I’m on my queen-sized bed,
Samsung Note 8 in hand,
wearing green basketball shorts,
a black Thrasher t-shirt,
and white socks.

A chorus of cars and distant chatter
provides the soundtrack to this moment.

I type work at home into Google’s search bar
because my credit cards
rise like Mother Earth’s ocean.

The endless links flood in,
where do I even start?

I scroll,
but no blue headline catches my eye.

I think,
I don’t want to do any of these jobs,
for what, pocket change?

At my full-time job,
I make an above-average salary
and enjoy it like a teenager
enjoys working fast food.

Still, I get up.
I show up.
I do what the job requires.

I need money, I think,
but not if my existence becomes
like leaves falling from a tree,
drying, withering, spent
just earning a living.

I want to be remembered,
not just by family and friends,
not just by co-workers or casual acquaintances.

I want to leave an indelible mark,
one that outlives me.

So maybe this search for money
is really a search
to inspire.

To be more
than just a name.